My revision piece is my community paper. In this paper, I examined the role of community as a support system. My expectations for this paper were to show an increase in critical thinking skills by connecting our reading assignments with my thesis. While I succeeded in using several sources to support my thesis, my analysis of the importance of communal support and my connections between the readings and my thesis were lacking. For example, when I discussed the importance of being surrounded by like-minded individuals in the Amish community, I discussed how they supported each other, but not why. By pointing out that "the community shows its support by protecting its members from excommunication and eternal damnation", I put my ideas to work and back them up with references to our class readings.
Later in the paper I discuss the effects that a lack of support can have on an individual and the community at large. I stated that, "Without an education, one can never reach a more financially comfortable position in society and so the lack of support causes the community to cannibalize and sabotage itself." By showing how a lack of education leads to continued poverty, I tied Kume Hodge's experience in with my thesis.
Continuing to improve my analytical writing skills has served me greatly in subsequent reading and writing assignments.
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